First of all… hi!
My name is Brianna and this is my first blog post. I mean, it’s not really my first blog post. I’ve written them before, or at least tried to, but this is the first time I’m feeling like I could be going somewhere with this. I’ve been telling myself since around 2014 that I wanted to start a book blog some day. It was one of those things where I’d say “well, maybe one day,” but it never happened.
I’m so glad that it finally did.
A few days ago, I was on Goodreads, like I usually am on the daily. I had all of my books in their proper shelves, rated with the stars I had given them over the years. I never actually wrote reviews; I just gave them the ratings. My account was set on private, and I didn’t interact with anyone. I felt like I had to stay hidden. I was way too afraid to start participating and making connections, even though I knew I was among like-minded people.
And then, for some reason, I decided to just go for it. I unlocked my account, started to add friends and make comments, and see what others were reading. Suddenly, I felt this overwhelming sense of pure happiness. Everyone was, and is, so nice. I don’t have any idea what I was afraid of. Book lovers are such great people. Plus, I am finding out tons and tons of books that I never knew about. My TBR pile is getting out of control, but really, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
That leads me to how I am sitting here writing out this post right now. Over the last couple days, I’ve been working on this blog and seeing if I could, just maybe, make it work. Somehow, it started to come so much easier than before. Partially, this has to do with my newfound support and love on Goodreads (thank you if you came from there!). It also has to do with a book I just read (Eliza and Her Monsters; more on this soon).
But more than anything, I created this blog because I finally found just a smidge of confidence within myself. Years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to say that. I was too worried about my writing style, who would want to read yet another book blog, and what everyone would think. I couldn’t even reach out to others online because of how scared I was of feeling like a failure. Instead, I read my books and I kept myself hidden away.
Sometimes, finding the courage to put ourselves out there isn’t easy. It’s terrifying, even online. Maybe especially online. I mean, there are already tons of book bloggers; ones that have been around for years already and have huge audiences. I could never compete with them. But I had to realize that that’s not what it’s about. I love to read. I love to write. I love create blog posts. That’s all that matters. We all need to do what we love for ourselves first.
Of course, I’m still pretty intimidated and don’t quite know exactly what I’m doing, but what’s different now is I know that that’s okay.
We were all beginners at some point, and that beginning for me is now.
And I couldn’t be more excited about it.